Healers are kinesthetic, hyper-sentient, “emphaths”. Thoughts, words expressed or compulsively dwelled upon, send a vibration, a certain frequency, resonance. If a being is broken, ill or imbalanced, they seem to lack personal responsibility, autonomy for their negative, cold, harming, projecting, manipulating thoughts, words and actions.
As Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes summed up: individuals with “hearts filled with fear, eyes spewing hate and anger and unfeeling hands of control…” no more, no more. Broken people unable to love, appreciate, recognize and share the best love has to offer …mother/child deep intuitive love/bonding.
Healers read, feel, register these arrows, these missiles of harm. Healers deserve to have both a professional workplace and an ordinary home, family life. An on/off button, so to speak, but once committed to the path of good relations, the good red road; we’re on the altar of our life 24 – 7.
When historical family patterns are revisited, especially during loaded holiday seasons, does one simply collapse back into the unhealthy familiar family script?
What happens when, one is dedicated to being happy, whole, healthy beings and mothers, meet the negative/berating/tyrannical misuse of speech, loyalty and love relations. When it hurts more to endure one more rant, one more harmful projection, than to say NO MORE and to turn away and moving one’s self to a safe zone and breathe.
Breaking the false pattern of collusion, the family glue allowing others to be more powerful because one allows them to dump their toxicity, their brokenness onto their most beloved ones.
The old game plan involved engaging in the fight, the one whose siren scream piercing, winning. The one without voice, armoring wishing to be invisible. Until that breaking moment, for the sake of one’s own dignity and core foundational arenas of integrity, a lightning bolt jolts electrifies. A strength of self-esteem, self-worth magnifies and our hands raise up and a voice declares STOP IT NO MORE.
So that lightning bolt moment, that blind left swing effect, “out of the blue” an urgency overtakes us, demands we look again, take a double take, get a reality check on this assault to our senses, our core sense of self. With a resurgence of a strength, a protector is holding us close, amplifying our ability to say NO MORE and STOP IT (even if the words are spoken internally).
“This exchange is so hurtful, it’s harmful to my soul, my heart.”
It is at that quantum moment, we can break the “chains” of dutiful, obligatory family rules and expectations.
Dr. Estes speaking as the wise Godmother, would say:
“Break the rules. Break the rules. With integrity.
and the ancient grandmothers can be heard whispering, “OH, maybe this is the one we’ve been waiting for. Yes, this is the one who will walk the good, true and beautiful way for the sake of all our relations. Yes, She is the ONE.
BEAUTY WAY PRAYER by Dr. Angeles Arriene, cross cultural anthropological storyteller
“Oh maybe this is the one who
Will be the one that Brings forward
The good, true and beautiful.
For all the past generations and
The generations to come.
Oh maybe this is the one
The one that will break the harmful family patterns or
Harmful cultural patterns.
Oh maybe this one will be the ONE.
WE are the ONE
We are the ONE!
“We must learn to treat ourselves with love and respect before we are able to treat others that way.” Jean Watson, R.N.
It is at that pivotal moment of reposturing when one refuses to bear witness, one more time, to unkind, harmful repeated false broken communication patterns. Turning, walking away leaves the perpetuator, the negative energy thrower, to themselves. So addicted to the drama, the juiciness of intensity; when left with no audience, just maybe they might become accountable for their speech, their emotional extremes (anger, sadness, rage, quilt, despair, suffering…), their actions. Alone in their frozen mind and heart sets, their own imprisonment, separated from loves bonding, they might discover they’d like to do beloved relations differently. Or not.
The ability to begin again, to start each day fresh, original with the intentions to focus on what we love, what feeds us and that which creates peace and ease; well, let’s just say that is a full time job, 24- 7. To gain a clarity and an appreciation for happy, healthy, caring, nurturing, engaged exchanges for the sake of All Our Relations of Life Light and Nature takes constant attention and focus.
One of my all time favorite KOANS comes to mind:
One day a holy master gathered up his novices announcing they were going to leave their high country hermitage and go down to the village below.
Meditatively walking they zigzagged down the trail, breathing in and breathing out. Ahead they noticed a very pregnant woman wailing beside the swollen, rolling spring river, she saw no way to cross safely.
Next thing they witnessed their holy man approached the mother asking he might help her. Oh yes and he picked her up and carried her safely across the cold waters.
He set her down, blessed her and continued to walk towards town. His novices trailed behind him definitely mystified and confused by their teachers actions. Touching a woman…a forbidden rule/vow breaker. He broke the rules.
One besought, troubled student broke free and ran up to the teacher.
In despair he cried out “How could you break the sacred convenance?
How why did you touch that woman?
The Holy man smiled and said:
“I see you’re still carrying her” and walked on.
I am here because of you and You are here because of me.
“Buddhist monks begin each day with a chant of gratitude for the blessings of their life. Native American elders begin each ceremony with grateful prayers to mother earth and father sky, to the four directions, to the animal, plant, and mineral brothers and sisters who share our earth and support our life. In Tibet, the monks and nuns even offer prayers of gratitude for the suffering they have been given: “Grant that I might have enough suffering to awaken in the deepest possible compassion and wisdom.”
The aim of spiritual life is to awaken a joyful freedom, a benevolent and compassionate heart in spite of everything.”
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.
Those persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen.” Elizabeth Kubler Ross