Dr. Estes Mysterium 014
(I wrote this in 2000. Still valid.)
Twenty-five years have passed since I received the diagnosis that I had an uncontrollable growth located in my Pituitary gland in my skull. After a year in Western Medicine, my pain was out of control and my career as a secondary mathematics and science teacher and writer was impossible to maintain. In the early seventies the whole medical realm of the Endocrine System was in its infancy and thus no easy cures were to be found. The only medicine I could respond to was an innate call to go ‘back to the land’ and die. Simultaneously, there was a cultural piece of dismay with politics, especially the Viet Nam error, and many of my peers believed the world and its people were approaching great doom.


Back to the land I went, leaving the community and culture I was raised in. For ten years myself and others went about creating an organic utopia where each day we attempted to live a life of respect for all the family of life. 1984 came, the world did not end, but for we individuals who sought to model another way of cooperating with the earth, something died within us. This has become a teaching story for me at this close of the Millennium. When I hear people quote predictions from Nostradomus, to the potential colliding of some great star or planet with this earth, to other dooms dayers, a quiet voice inside me whisper “Ah, they are still wondering if this planet is friendly or not.” I am clear that each moment of every day and night I am walking on the most sacred of altars. Never do I have permission to speak some truth and fail to walk it. I cheer this time period, for truly each individual will be called on to let go, die to, that which no longer serves the highest good and return to an innate grace that believes we have chosen to walk gently, with great truth on this sweet planet and her fine family.


During the time when my head was so pressurized, ready to explode, I learned to or rather was forced to experience another realm of consciousness. Yes, transcendental meditation helped this, as did the healing art form of Reike, (self administering of healing, balanced energy). I let die away the part of my intelligence that required my rational, left brain to work all the time trying to figure out ‘the meaning of life’. I had to surrender to a relationship with a ‘higher form’ of communication that exposed itself when I finally learned to calm my mind. All the thoughts and fears regarding peace, health, death, life, soul mates, right livelihood, natural disasters, and so on had to be set aside. I learned that my right hemisphere of the brain rewarded me through my senses with beauty, with love and with a safe rapport with this existence. I treasure the wisdom that I now have that can negotiate with the rational and the experiential sides of my nature, that reassures them that each is valued and will be accessed when appropriate. I have canceled the need to work thoughts over and over and over again. Trust, deep rooted trust is now with me.

Fourteen years since I regained my health, I have walked as a pioneer Wholistic Touch Therapist in society. For the first few years I was required to educate each and every person I met about the mind/body connection. My most frequent tidbit of wisdom was that Westerners believe that all of their mind rests in between their ears, but the truth of the health matter is that one’s authentic mental history exists below the head. What occurs between the ears can go unconscious, can be distorted, can be manipulated; but what’s below the skull that which rests in our body is truthful. There is no way the body can alter its health history. Therefore, deep therapeutic touch is extremely valuable to help an individual return to their authentic, grace-filled, vital life.

Following the above wisdom comes the question who is qualified to administer such ‘raw, vulnerable’ treatments? My response to these inquiries is that I believe that individual practitioners train in the field that they deserve the most attention themselves. I ask the inquirer to interview their potential practitioner with the following questions:

1) Who do you go to for your own personal work? If a practitioner feels they are completely healed and do not need personal outside assistance, don’t go to them. I believe the only difference between the practitioner and the recipient is the practitioner leaves their stuff at the office door, and the recipient brings their issues into the office.

2) Ask the practitioner to extend a list of individual’s who have benefited from their services so that you might interview them. I believe that all the licenses and degrees are useless if the practitioner cannot show accountability in the form of individuals who have benefited from their services.

3) Notice the language the practitioner uses. Do they empower the client to take personal responsibility for their health renewal or does the practitioner claim the strength from where healing will occur? I believe that each of us has an ‘Inner Physician’ that yearns to be connected with and trusted in our return to wellbeing.

4) Does the practitioner involve a spiritual component to the healing process? Please give yourself permission to openly request the involvement of the highest good in the road to recovery.

5) As a general rule of thumb, it takes at least one-third the time to heal as it did to create the imbalance or ‘dis-ease’ in ones body/mind/heart/spirit. Develop a health map that takes in account each step in the journey of renewal of well being. Be your own coach/witness that cheers and validates each step of progress.


I call the healing process Self Health. The truth my own healing process brought me is that all that I am is God/Great Spirit/Maker of All Things; but God is much greater than I am. Learning to hear the inner voice of spirit that is always available to assist in the return to great vitality is a mandate. Letting go of the ego voice that is mean and judgmental is essential. The healing process is one breath at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time woven with a cheering inner healer that says ‘Ah, maybe this is one who will walk the good, true and beautiful pathway.’ Today is the only place one can be fully alive so find the miraculous, the beautiful and celebrate the recognition and remembering. Suffering is mental, pain is physical, joy is spiritual and peace is health.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Lewis, editor and manager Wholisticbodymind.com since 2000. Suzanne is a Planetary Peacekeeper, an Agent for Conscious Evolution, a Spiritual Healer, a Mother, a multi - faceted artist (beads, gems to trade beads; guords star seed art; published author and Lover of Life for the sake of All our Relations.
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